Invited to walk on water

Invited to walk on water
sisters and brothers waiting on one more

Friday, May 5, 2017

Butterfly miracle 🦋

Miracle Butterflies
Earlier this month, in the dark of morning, I sat at my computer looking for caterpillars.  So badly did I want our littles to experience the miracle of watching a caterpillar-pupae-butterfly cycle.  Yet prices to purchase bugs felt daunting as we raise our 7. 
Caterpillars just aren't a necessity. 
Something in my heart hoped for a miracle, yet I doubt I even took the time to pray as the morning began suddenly with a rush of diapers and behaviors all around.  

Two hours later, Liam came to me as I sat with Joseph outside.  

He was so enthusiastic as he opened his hand to reveal about 10 little black caterpillars with colorful orange spots!

Mom, look at these caterpillars!  They were falling from the tree next to my pond!  

Liam had no idea.  Yet I knew this was a miracle.   Liam told me of a coincidence that earlier that morning, he'd decided to clean his room (now that's a real miracle.) As he went through his closet, he found the butterfly habitat we'd used years ago when he was in preschool. 
He placed it on neatly on a shelf just in case we ever had need of it.  

Later, as he'd been cleaning his pond, caterpillars had begun to fall out of the tree above him!

I called the girls and told Liam they could fill the habitat together. 
Happily, his little sisters ran after him up to the pond. 
The girls and Liam filled the butterfly tent with branches and leaves from the tree they'd found the caterpillars on. 

They counted 48 caterpillars.  
Within the day, the busy little miracle bugs had already begun to spin their cocoons.  

Then today the kids watched 48 butterflies 🦋 emerge.  48 miraculous butterflies.  #Helovesinthedetails, #spring, #brotherandsister,

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Easter and two birthdays, panic attacks and truest love

Easter, combined with precious and treasured Leora and Mohale's birthdays this weekend, cause my grateful heart to flash back to darkness....






Treasures in darkness.

Anxiety shook me to the ground outside our home at 2am. Looking up desperately through damp fog towards the dark, starry sky as I lay trembling on concrete through another panic attack, it felt as if only by a miracle could my lungs keep breathing.   My life was safe- yet the life of a beloved child was not.  Love freaking hurts.  Through deepest salty, pain I begged my Heavenly Father for mercy again "God!! don't let This Child be hurt any more!!! This Child has been through enough horror!!!  No more!!!" 

Panic attacks are a normal part of adoption for me.  You see, I'm not the strong one some assume a mom of 7 may be.  

Adoption is deeply hard.  These treasures reside in cruel darkness- and to reach them? Yes, we often have to go there... into places darker than any child should ever know. 

He stands on dark waters, inviting us to follow. 

Blood and darkness precluded our redemptive, life giving, embrace by Him. 


Because of Easter, 

We celebrate as His children...





Isaiah 45:3...... I will give you the treasures 

of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name. 

Treasures in darkness. 

"Mom, Easter means God loved us so much that Jesus died on the cross so we could be adopted into His family."

Our children taste this.  


Adoptive families- you taste this rich.  As we remember the bloody cross-  our hearts flash back to long nights where our own hearts bled with grief, anxiety, panic, confusion, weariness, pain beyond description as we traversed the Dark Valley of Adoption towards the greatest waiting treasures.  

(Some of you are there now.  

Know, you are not alone.)

As we remember Easter today- the bloody, wet, horrific crucifixion of our Jesus- taste His love.  Savor His resurrection and look up towards the Father who loves truer than any mind can comprehend this side of Heaven. 

This ultimate love calls us to Run towards His arms of redemption.  

Be still in His gaze and know: He's got this.  

He's got your every scar. 

He's holding your broken, trembling heart.  He's walking this hard road of life with you- redeeming each stumble while pouring out through your brokenness onto others in desperate need of adoption into His embrace.  

Breathe in His adoptive love. 


We are loved. 

Therefore we are free to love.  

We are free to run towards the treasures who await in darkness.  

We are free to break.  

The day will come when your heart will breathe again

and treasures of immeasurable worth will astound you.  

Because He died, we can live.

Because He holds our life, we are free to give it away...

What passion has He placed within your heart?

Can I encourage you?

The One who broke bloody to adopt you will never let you go-

He's there as you step out onto the waters...

If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.


Luke 17:33

Monday, March 27, 2017

Updated CBS-8 San Diego Story

They aired our updated story!

How did my broken, anxious heart, get to be their mom?
Gratefulness burst from within as we watched for the first time.

Local family adopts 4 children

We needed our children- They changed our world.  Thanking God today for each one who poured into our son's as we pursued them; for each one who advocated for them; for each one who cheered us on through the tears, anxiety, grief and sleepless nights; for each one who fought on their knees in prayer; for each one who was part of the miracle of Mohale and Joseph-
there were truly many of you. 

It takes an army to go into the dark places where these treasures wait.
But oh, what gifts await!
Thanking God and each of you this morning through grateful tears and a heart filled with passion for more children who wait and often pray for a family.

"I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness--secret riches..." Is. 45:3

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

The cowboys: When I am weak, He is faithful.

Little cowboys💕. 

This tower where they play was built by a man who knew the pain of being an orphan. 

He told us of his childhood spent behind bars of an orphanage. 
He'd felt the ripping, bloody loneliness of abandonment and vulnerability. 
Peering through iron bars as a child, his ache felt some remnants of comfort as hymns rang out from a stone church bell tower near the orphanage. 

This beautiful man, now adopted by our Heavenly Father, built this tower as a symbol of hope for the fatherless- "Our Father is our Strong Tower."

 Long before we knew who they were, tears and gut wrenching prayers were spilled in this stone tower over these two little cowboys. 
Their story unfolded across two continents and required miracles. 
Now as our sons play in this place where prayers were weak and afraid over their lives, my heart melts with love and amazement. He is faithful when I am afraid.  

Now, the ones who designed and built this tower in the center of our home, have given their hearts to reach the hearts of girls caught in the claws of human trafficking.  Check out their beautifully unfolding passion here: Seeds of Hope 

#heknowstheirtears,  #redeamer, #heisfaithful, #ourbrokensaviorhears, #heknowsyourtears, #brokenonesarehisbeloveds,

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

CBS-8 Story from 2012. Freaking out and grateful as we prepare for update.


I'm nervous and reminiscing with a full heart today as we prepare for CBS-8 to do an updated profile on our family. Is this really happening? We are imperfect, broken and my heart often trembles and feels weak...We are the ones who could have easily believed that this journey was for others far stronger. Yet, the boys are our sons! It happened!! IT HAPPENED! Gratefulness overflows. 

The old video above was made 5 years ago this month. Liam asked for a little brother- his request is seen at the end of this video that CBS-8 profiled of our family. That same week, our kids prayed for two children with special needs. Two years after this video was taken, the county asked if we'd foster Joseph. days after Joseph was in our arms, we learned of Mohale in Africa. It was a crazy, indescribably difficult road. YET THE GIFT OF LOVING THEM IS BEYOND MEASURE. I cringe at the thought that we could have stayed "safe" as many advised and not pursued them.  

On the right side of our CBS-8 video page,  notice many more videos of children who need homes right now.  Each one would be an HONOR to love... 

Even if adoption is not an option or desire, there are many other ways to touch these precious ones. 


Today, CBS-8 will be filming an update. Please pray that hearts are moved to wrap around vulnerable treasures. These broken hearts are worth the risk of a broken heart.  I've got to say, What is the desire of your heart? Whether or not it has anything to do with orphans- Likely that desire is within you for a purpose! You were made for a purpose! Your giftedness AND your brokenness can be hope for others! 

Go for it...