In 2013 as a mom of 5 children, I started this blog as we began the process to adopt two more. We assumed both would be from Africa, but one treasure came through foster care and the other from, Lesotho, Africa. This blog is a journal. It's personal and reveals my weaknesses. I have recently made it public in hopes of encouraging others in whatever passions, risks, or dreams God has placed into hearts.
Invited to walk on water
Thursday, August 3, 2017
Friday, May 5, 2017
Butterfly miracle 🦋
Caterpillars just aren't a necessity.
Saturday, April 15, 2017
Easter and two birthdays, panic attacks and truest love
Easter, combined with precious and treasured Leora and Mohale's birthdays this weekend, cause my grateful heart to flash back to darkness....
Treasures in darkness.
Anxiety shook me to the ground outside our home at 2am. Looking up desperately through damp fog towards the dark, starry sky as I lay trembling on concrete through another panic attack, it felt as if only by a miracle could my lungs keep breathing. My life was safe- yet the life of a beloved child was not. Love freaking hurts. Through deepest salty, pain I begged my Heavenly Father for mercy again "God!! don't let This Child be hurt any more!!! This Child has been through enough horror!!! No more!!!"
Panic attacks are a normal part of adoption for me. You see, I'm not the strong one some assume a mom of 7 may be.
Adoption is deeply hard. These treasures reside in cruel darkness- and to reach them? Yes, we often have to go there... into places darker than any child should ever know.
He stands on dark waters, inviting us to follow.
Blood and darkness precluded our redemptive, life giving, embrace by Him.
Adopted.
Because of Easter,
We celebrate as His children...
Isaiah 45:3...... I will give you the treasures
of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
Treasures in darkness.
"Mom, Easter means God loved us so much that Jesus died on the cross so we could be adopted into His family."
Our children taste this.
Easter-
Adoptive families- you taste this rich. As we remember the bloody cross- our hearts flash back to long nights where our own hearts bled with grief, anxiety, panic, confusion, weariness, pain beyond description as we traversed the Dark Valley of Adoption towards the greatest waiting treasures.
(Some of you are there now.
Know, you are not alone.)
As we remember Easter today- the bloody, wet, horrific crucifixion of our Jesus- taste His love. Savor His resurrection and look up towards the Father who loves truer than any mind can comprehend this side of Heaven.
This ultimate love calls us to Run towards His arms of redemption.
Be still in His gaze and know: He's got this.
He's got your every scar.
He's holding your broken, trembling heart. He's walking this hard road of life with you- redeeming each stumble while pouring out through your brokenness onto others in desperate need of adoption into His embrace.
Breathe in His adoptive love.
Breathe.
We are loved.
Therefore we are free to love.
We are free to run towards the treasures who await in darkness.
We are free to break.
The day will come when your heart will breathe again
and treasures of immeasurable worth will astound you.
Because He died, we can live.
Because He holds our life, we are free to give it away...
What passion has He placed within your heart?
Can I encourage you?
The One who broke bloody to adopt you will never let you go-
He's there as you step out onto the waters...
If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it.
(Jesus)
Luke 17:33
Monday, March 27, 2017
Updated CBS-8 San Diego Story
How did my broken, anxious heart, get to be their mom?
Gratefulness burst from within as we watched for the first time.
We needed our children- They changed our world. Thanking God today for each one who poured into our son's as we pursued them; for each one who advocated for them; for each one who cheered us on through the tears, anxiety, grief and sleepless nights; for each one who fought on their knees in prayer; for each one who was part of the miracle of Mohale and Joseph-
there were truly many of you.
But oh, what gifts await!
Thanking God and each of you this morning through grateful tears and a heart filled with passion for more children who wait and often pray for a family.
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
The cowboys: When I am weak, He is faithful.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
CBS-8 Story from 2012. Freaking out and grateful as we prepare for update.
Even if adoption is not an option or desire, there are many other ways to touch these precious ones.
Go for it...